Hanna shares how [conflict resolution](./conflict-resolution) skills are essential for building community: "_I see so many people claiming they want to be in community, that they want to feel connected to their network of friends and peers, but who consistently demonstrate that they lack the one skill truly needed to make a community strong: conflict._" "_Conflict skills geared toward finding [resolution](./conflict-resolution), returning to connection, and creating stronger relationships where everyone’s unique perspective is honored and considered._" Doing conflict well requires being [present](./presence) with the discomfort of hearing different perspectives: "_It brings up a lot of intense feelings. In fact, one of the essential qualities needed to do conflict well is a tolerance for discomfort—a tolerance for high sensation—because it just comes with the territory._" "_Even in the best relationships, it brings up big emotions and requires a deep capacity to set our shit aside and hear people out. To get out of our own heads and into the hearts of others._" She mentions how the intra-movement [cancel culture](./cancel-culture) seen in many leftist spaces can be a way to avoid doing the work of learning to do conflict: "_And my take is that this obsession with saying and doing the perfect thing—the thing that has infiltrated the political left—is actually a form of [conflict avoidance](./conflict-avoidance)._" "_So many people on the left approach difficult conversations with one goal: to convert the other person._" "_But that’s not how human behavior works. The moment someone feels [judged](./judgment) for their perspective, the entire conversation shuts down._" "_So here’s my invitation—or maybe my dare: If you say you care about community, prove it by learning how to do conflict well._" "_So the next time you feel the urge to cancel someone, call someone out, or cut someone off—ask yourself: Is this really about justice? Or is it about avoiding the pain of being human together?_"

Mentions

Conflict Avoidance

Safe Space

Book: Connect