Updates
A chronological view of all updates and changes to tender.garden.
July 3, 2025
10 updates
Book: Life Beyond Suffering
The book Life Beyond Suffering: A Guided Practice by Kinzer MB is a 60 day workbook with the following elements for each day: - Guided writing practice - Write down things you're grateful for
Gratitude Journaling
Gratitude journaling is a type of journaling that focuses on regularly writing down things we’re thankful for. By noticing and recording even small moments of joy, connection, or beauty, we train our attention toward what’s working rather than what’s lacking. Over time, this light work practice can shift our perception and deepen appreciation for everyday life. On a sheet of paper, write down things you're grateful for, starting sentences like this: - "I love..." - "I love, when..." - "I'm grateful for..." - "I'm grateful, that..." We recommend using explicit examples that help really feel the gratitude. For example, instead of "I love nature" you could write down "I love how the forest smells on a beautiful summer day." - Medium: Gratitude journaling can be used as part of a larger journaling practice (for example in Life Beyond Suffering) or in a dedicated space. We both use a dedicated journal for gratitude.
Intention
Doing something with intention means being more present while doing it. In light work practices, the practice of setting an intention is also often used.
Low Dopamine Morning
A Low Dopamine Morning is a morning routine that aims to minimize exposure to external stimuli and distractions. This practice is based on the insight that the amount of dopamine released immediately after waking up influences how much dopamine our brain will seek throughout the day. An important part of a Low Dopamine Morning is to avoid checking your phone or other notifications right after getting up.
Quality Time
Spending time with intention has the potential to deepen the experience. Often overlooked: Quality time with ourselves, in solitude.
Solitude
It can be a liberating process to learn to enjoy our own company and cultivating solitude as quality time with ourselves. "Solitude is for me a fount of healing which makes my life worth living." - Carl Jung "Solitude is not (just) the absence of someone or something else, but the presence of my undisturbed perception." - Sarah Diehl in Die Freiheit, allein zu sein
Journaling
Journaling can be a helpful practice for recognizing patterns. - Finding the right medium: Try out different methods to see which one presents the least resistance and is most sustainable in the long term. Do I prefer writing by hand in a notebook, typing on my phone or laptop (e.g., using a tool like Obsidian), or does it work better for me to express my thoughts and emotions through drawings or voice memos? - Structured data: It can be helpful to track some things in a more structured way. For example: What was the weather like that day? What did I consume? What rituals did I perform? - Perspective and depth: Your perspective can evolve over time. What might start as "What did I do that day?" (external view) can deepen into "What was on my mind that day?" (internal view). - States of consciousness: Through which different states did I go? How much was I present, how much did I spend in other time states? There are different types of journaling, for example: - Free-form, for example using stream of consciousness writing - Guided, for example using prompts - Focused on a certain topic, for example gratitude journaling
Light Work
Light work means using tools that help us shape our world in a positive way. While shadow work is about recognizing patterns that might be holding us back, light work is about cultivating new, healthy patterns that have previously been beyond our imagination. While a lot of light work techniques are focused on the self, the act of imagining and building a better future for everyone is an important part of collective liberation. On an individual level, we can have an impact by taking responsibility for the energy we bring into the human organism. On a collective level, we can work together and envision a world that's beyond our current imagination, for example through utopianism. - Exercising our imagination of what's possible, for example using visualization techniques and affirmations. - Training ourselves to be in the present and cultivating awe, for example through gratitude journaling and awe walks.
Utopianism
Utopianism is a light work technique with the goal to envision a better future where humans live together in a healthy, sustainable way. It stretches our muscles of imagination and allows us to step outside of our current systems and thought patterns. How does the human organism live together in the future? How do people spend their lives together, how are they organized? How do members of the society see themselves?
Arriving Within Myself
Last week, I wrote about anxiety and how I sometimes find it difficult to write authentically without worrying about what others might think. This is a theme that accompanies me in many areas of life. In relationships, as a host, in public, professionally, creatively... I often constantly monitor how people are doing and what impact my behavior (or lack thereof) might have on them. Over the past two years, I've been exploring the topic of people pleasing and will write more about it in the future. In short: It's hard for me to bear when people around me are not doing well, and I quickly slip into the mode of wanting to manage their emotions to then feel better myself. This is often accompanied by assumptions that I've done something wrong and must fix it immediately to make things right again. This leads me to overextend myself without being asked, which eventually results in escalation when I don't feel supported to the same extent (also without being asked). A downward spiral. To counteract this, I've tried to find ways to arrive back at myself. To move out of other people's heads and back into my own mind and body. Not monitoring others, but discovering what I actually feel, what moves me, and what I need. For a long time, I saw being alone as something negative, something involuntary. Only in recent years have I realized how incredibly helpful it is for me simply to be with myself, away from external influences. In Die Freiheit allein zu sein (German book, The freedom to be alone), Sarah Diehl describes the difference between loneliness and solitude. That solitude can help us experience the world and ourselves as authentically as possible. I highly recommend this book. “Solitude is not (just) the absence of someone or something else, but the presence of my undisturbed perception.” – Sarah Diehl Through solitude, sometimes things that I have unconsciously carried with me for a long time can sort themselves out. Like a ball of yarn with knots that need time and quiet to untangle.
July 2, 2025
1 update
July 1, 2025
3 updates
Transparency
People can't read our minds. By sharing what's going on inside of us, we enable other people to understand us better and open up themselves.
Building for Transparency
We want to build tender.garden as a platform that supports our process of learning in public. Instead of showing just the result, we want to share our journey and the mistakes we make along the way. By focusing on taking responsibility for ourselves, by reflecting in the open, we strive to move away from pointing fingers and rather invite anyone interested to join us at eye level. For this, we try to be more transparent in two ways: - Transparent Updates: Being open to changing our minds and updating our content accordingly - Transparent Credit: Acknowledging and sharing who we learned from How do we deal with the situation when we learn something new, maybe even that we made a mistake? How can we change our content, take responsibility, while also making sure that this learning process isn't erased? As a first step, we added an Update History section that can be opened by clicking/tapping the Last updated date on a page. Here is an example how it looks like on the Countdown Meditation page: For bigger changes, we can also link to blog posts explaining the thoughts behind them. We are very grateful for so many hearts and minds that are offering their perspectives in conversations and resources. To show more transparently who we learned from, we just added an Acknowledgments section that can be opened by clicking/tapping the heart icon next to the other authors of a page. Here is an example:
Countdown Meditation
This meditation helps practice single-pointed focus. The goal is to count from 100 to 0 in your head without being distracted. There are different forms of this exercise available. We first discovered it in Psychic Witch, where it is called Preliminary Focus. - Put yourself in a relaxed position - Start with a deep inhale and exhale. You can also say an affirmation before starting, for example, Psychic Witch suggests "When I'm at 0, I will be in the alpha brainwave state of consciousness." - Count from 100 to 0 in your head - When you realize that you got distracted, start at 100 again
June 12, 2025
3 updates
Book: Psychic Witch
Psychic Witch: A Metaphysical Guide to Meditation, Magick & Manifestation is a book by Mat Auryn. - Countdown Meditation (called Preliminary Focus in the book)
Countdown Meditation
This meditation helps practice single-pointed focus. The goal is to count from 100 to 0 in your head without being distracted. There are different forms of this exercise available. We first discovered it in Psychic Witch, where it is called Preliminary Focus. - Put yourself in a relaxed position - Start with a deep inhale and exhale. You can also say an affirmation before starting, for example, Psychic Witch suggests "When I'm at 0, I will be in the alpha brainwave state of consciousness." - Count from 100 to 0 in your head - When you realize that you got distracted, start at 100 again
Meditation
Meditation is about taking time to slow down, be present, and listen to what's going on inside and around us.
June 3, 2025
2 updates
Book: Ritual
The book Ritual: An Essential Grimoire by Lorri Davis and Damien Echols offers approachable rituals for ceremonial Magick and energy work. - Vacuum Grounding Meditation - Cord Cutting Meditation
Podcast: Damien Echols and Lorri Davis on DTFH
Damien Echols and Lorri Davis join Duncan Trussell on the DTFH Podcast on April 2022. They talk about Magick and their book Ritual. Find the episode here. When asked by Duncan about an inspiration for a prayer, Damien responds with the following: "May the divine light descend upon us in order to protect, guide and illuminate us on our journey through life and on the path of High Magick. May it come about in a way that brings harm to none and is for the good of all and in no way let this reverse or bring on us any curse. Amen."