Updates
A chronological view of all updates and changes to tender.garden.
August 15, 2025
3 updates
Cancel Culture
We've dismissed the term cancel culture for a long time because we saw it mainly as a way for people who are confronted with making a mistake to evade accountability. What’s often forgotten is that the roots of this practice lie in Black liberation movements, where calling out harmful behavior publicly became a vital way to seek justice outside of systems that fail to protect marginalized communities. Over time, however, the term has been co-opted and repurposed—often by those in power—to deflect criticism. Rather than taking responsibility for the harm that was caused, people often focus on how the injustice is communicated. This shifts the attention away from the root of the issue. We believe it's crucial to listen to people experiencing violence and injustice, no matter how it is delivered. There should always be space for righteous anger. However, recently, we started reflecting on our own behavior, how punishment is ingrained in our culture and how this leads to judgment and finger pointing in cases where more effective conflict resolution could be possible. When we focus too much on outer spheres and neglect the necessary inner work, this can lead to externalization and cancel culture.
Morning Routine
A morning routine can be helpful to start the day with intention.
Conflict Resolution
From being against each other to being with each other. Successful conflict resolution strengthens trust that future conflicts can also be resolved well.
August 9, 2025
2 updates
Presence
Being in the now. Not moving between past and future times in our head, but being 100% present in the current moment. - Meditation - Creative expression, e.g. drawing - Movement, e.g. dancing - Cutting off outside noise, e.g. through Low Dopamine Mornings - Deep Listening <Image src="/img/presence-depth.jpg" width="1280" height="956"
Book: Nonviolent Communication - A Language of Life
This book by Marshall B. Rosenberg describes Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as philosophy and method. Nonviolent Communication is a process with the goal to focus our attention on four pieces of information: "First, we observe what is actually happening in a situation: what are we observing others saying or doing that is either enriching or not enriching our life?" "The trick is to be able to articulate this observation without introducing any judgment or evaluation–to simply say what people are doing that we either like or don't like." "Next, we state how we feel when we observe this action: are we hurt, scared, joyful, amused, irritated?"
August 8, 2025
2 updates
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory was coined by John Bowlby and aims to describe how the support and attention we get from our caretakers as children affects our behavior in relationships and conflicts as adults.
Book: Polysecure
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern is "the first book to explicitly translate the principles of attachment theory to nonmonogamous relationships." "Again and again, I have experienced the power of love to heal, to bridge, to connect and to awaken, as well as the trauma that ensues in its absence." "In many ways, my life is centered in not just believing in love, but being love. That is, emanating love as best as I can, moment by moment, interaction by interaction." "Attachment theory offers an important–even revolutionary–framework for understanding the biological and psychological necessity of being securely bonded to others." "Many people who practice ethical nonmonogamy (who often proudly describe themselves as relationship geeks) have been drawn to attachment theory as a way to further enhance their general knowledge about relationships." The book first explains the concept of attachment theory, how children look for their caretakers when their nervous system is imbalanced and how receiving support impacts not only their wellbeing, but also their ability to go on independent exploration. "As human infants, we are born into this world with an attachment system that wires us to expect connection with others. The creator of attachment theory, John Bowlby, called this innate expectation the attachment behavioral system and explained that it is one of several behavioral systems that humans evolved to ensure our survival." "As infants, we can't meet any of our needs. So, in order to survive, we have to bond and attach to caretakers who can provide us with food and shelter, as well as meeting our biological and psychological needs for emotional attunement, warm responsiveness and calming physical touch." "When an infant feels fear, distress or discomfort, their attachment system is activated. This prompts them to quickly turn towards their caretakers or use proximity-seeking behaviors such as crying, reaching for, calling out or, later, crawling and following their attachment figure." "If the child receives the support, reassurance and comfort they need from their caretaker, their nervous system then returns to a state of calm homeostasis."
August 7, 2025
2 updates
Report: Repression of Palestine Solidarity in Germany
The report "Repression of Palestine Solidarity in Germany" was published in July 2025. It documents the heavy repression Palestinians and people in solidarity with Palestine face in Germany, especially when protesting against the genocide. "This report aims to analyze the multi-layered repression of Palestinian activism and Palestine solidarity in Germany. It identifies five interrelated arenas through which this repression is enacted: legal repression, state violence and securitization, discursive delegitimization, censorship in the cultural and civic sector, and exclusion within the educational system."
Gaza Genocide
While the word genocide was largely being suppressed by Western media until 2025, a growing number of genocide scholars and human rights experts are getting increasingly clear: - The International Association of Genocide Scholars declared that "Israel’s policies and actions in Gaza meet the legal definition of genocide in Article II of the United Nations Convention for the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide." - United Nations Special Rapporteur on the situation of human rights in the Palestinian territories occupied since 1967, Francesca Albanese calls Israel a settler-colonial project and highlights corporations who "have profited from Israel’s economy of illegal occupation, apartheid and now, genocide." - Amnesty International concludes "Israel is committing genocide against Palestinians in Gaza." - Human Rights Watch published a report in December 2024 titled "Extermination and Acts of Genocide." - Omer Bartov, professor of Holocaust and genocide studies at Brown University, wrote a piece in NYT called I’m a Genocide Scholar. I Know It When I See It.: "My inescapable conclusion has become that Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinian people. Having grown up in a Zionist home, lived the first half of my life in Israel, served in the I.D.F. as a soldier and officer and spent most of my career researching and writing on war crimes and the Holocaust, this was a painful conclusion to reach, and one that I resisted as long as I could. But I have been teaching classes on genocide for a quarter of a century. I can recognize one when I see one." Israeli military officials told the New York Times that there is no proof that Hamas has been systematically stealing aid that was supposed to go to the people in Gaza. "It's not our fault. Hamas is stealing the food" is a lie that has been used heavily over the last 2 years to justify Israel's deliberate starvation of Palestinians.
August 6, 2025
11 updates
Attention
External attention (like feeling desired, admired...) can lead to spiritual ego. It's important to not confuse this type of attention with connection. "What you pay attention to grows." – adrienne maree brown in Emergent Strategy "The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers." – ThĂch Nhất Hạnh - Gratitude Journaling - Awe Walk
Book: Connect
"Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends & Colleagues" is a book by Carole Robin and David Bradford based on a Stanford MBA course that the authors teach. Carole and David provide actionable advice and stories about exceptional relationships, which they describe as: "you feel seen, known, and appreciated for who you really are, not an edited version of yourself" "think of exceptional relationships as living, breathing organisms that are always changing, always in need of tending, and always always capable of taking your breath away" "When your interactions with another person are at their most authentic, there is a paradigm shift." - "You can be more fully yourself, and so can the other person" - "Both of you are willing to be vulnerable" - "You trust that self-disclosures will not be used against you" - "You can be honest with each other" - "You deal with conflict productively"
Book: Emergent Strategy
Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown explores change and organizing with principles inspired by nature and science fiction, especially the writings of Octavia Butler. Learn more about the concept here: Emergent Strategy. "Emergence emphasizes critical connections over critical mass, building authentic relationships, listening with all the senses of the body and the mind." "Emergent strategy is how we intentionally change in ways that grow our capacity to embody the just and liberated worlds we long for." "There are a million paths into the future, and many of them can be transformative for the whole." adrienne maree brown provides the following principles: - Small is good, small is all. (The large is a reflection of the small.) - Change is constant. (Be like water.) - There is always enough time for the right work. - There is a conversation in the room that only these people at this moment can have. Find it.
Emergent Strategy
Emergent strategy is a way of approaching change that draws from nature’s patterns—focusing on adaptability, interconnection, and small actions that ripple into larger transformations. We discovered the term in adrienne maree brown's book Emergent Strategy. "Emergence emphasizes critical connections over critical mass, building authentic relationships, listening with all the senses of the body and the mind." – adrienne maree brown in Emergent Strategy "Emergent strategy is how we intentionally change in ways that grow our capacity to embody the just and liberated worlds we long for." – adrienne maree brown in Emergent Strategy adrienne maree brown provides the following principles: - Small is good, small is all. (The large is a reflection of the small.) - Change is constant. (Be like water.) - There is always enough time for the right work.
Future
How much time do we spend thinking about the future, how much of it is based on fear and anxiety, how much of it is based on hope? Here are a few light work methods to help imagine a better future: - Affirmations and future journaling - Utopianism "I know that we are co-creating the future with each word, each action, and with our attention." – adrienne maree brown in We Will Not Cancel Us "There are a million paths into the future, and many of them can be transformative for the whole." – adrienne maree brown in Emergent Strategy "Tell everyone that the future will be radiant and beautiful. Love it, strive toward it, work for it, bring it nearer, transfer into the present as much as you can from it.” – Nikolai Chernyshevsky
Book: We Will Not Cancel Us
We Will Not Cancel Us: And Other Dreams of Transformative Justice is a book by adrienne maree brown that explores cancel culture within abolitionist movements. "With each of the pieces in this collection, my goal is to bring transformative justice to life within our movement spaces–not as a futurist theory we are demanding from the larger world, but as a practice we are rigorously in with each other as believers, growing the capacity to invite other into." The book starts with a beautiful visualization: "I know that we are co-creating the future with each word, each action, and with our attention." "I can see it–in the short-term we generate small pockets of movement so irresistibly accountable that people who don't even know what a movement is come running towards us" "In my mid-term vision, movements prioritize building the capacity, skill and wide hearts to receive new comrades, while practicing daily and deeply what it means to sustain our relationships and collective visions, uphold our values, and adapt towards purpose." "We get skilled at critique that deepens us, conflict that generates new futures, and healing that changes material conditions." "In the longest term vision I can see, when we [...] inevitably disagree, or cause harm, we will respond not with rejection, exile, or public shaming, but with clear naming of harm; education around intention, impact, and pattern breaking; satisfying apologies and consequences; new agreements and trustworthy boundaries; and lifelong healing resources for all involved." "It is our time and responsibility to try something else."
Learning about Cancel Culture
We've dismissed the term cancel culture for a long time because we saw it mainly as a way for people in power to evade accountability when confronted with mistakes. What’s often forgotten is that the roots of this practice lie in Black liberation movements, where calling out harmful behavior publicly became a vital way to seek justice outside of systems that fail to protect marginalized communities. Over time, however, the term has been co-opted and repurposed—often by those in power—to deflect criticism. Rather than taking responsibility for the harm that was caused, people often focus on how the injustice is communicated. This shifts the attention away from the root of the issue. We believe it's crucial to listen to people experiencing violence and injustice, no matter how it is delivered. There should always be space for righteous anger. However, the more we reflected on our own behavior during conflict, we realized there is more going on. We noticed how punishment and fear of punishment–so deeply ingrained in our culture–affects how we show up in our relationships and results in hurt and disconnection in cases where more effective conflict resolution could be possible. We experienced this not only in personal conflicts, but also when trying to help organize for Palestine and collective liberation over the last year. There is a growing number of people in movement spaces highlighting the importance of finding more effective and connective ways of working together. As big believers in the transformative magic of conflict resolution, we feel drawn towards better understanding the underlying dynamics of cancel culture and how they show up in ourselves, our personal relationships, and our movements. We are exploring this as two white Germans. This means we're currently focusing on: - How German socialization affects our conflict behavior - The process of white Germans waking up to being complicit in structural violence - Doing the necessary shadow work to be able to show up in movement spaces in increasingly healthy ways
Article: Damien Echols on Embodied Presence
On his Patreon, Damien Echols published an article called The Sacred Ordinary: Daily Rituals for Embodied Presence. "Most people think of spiritual practice as something separate from ordinary life. Something you do on a cushion, on a mat, in a temple. But the truth is, the most powerful rituals aren’t always found in elaborate ceremonies—they’re found in the seemingly mundane." "In the traditions of internal alchemy and ceremonial magick, we’re trained to build energy, to direct focus, to purify the self. But all that training means nothing if it doesn’t show up in the places that actually make up your life—your mornings, your meals, your movements." "Embodied presence isn’t just an idea. It’s a physical experience. You feel it in your bones. In your breath. In your fingertips. It’s when your awareness sinks from the forehead to the heart, and then even lower—to the gut, the feet, the earth." "It’s the kind of attention that changes the quality of time, because it brings you into alignment with what’s real: this moment." "When you commit to presence, the world responds. Anxiety fades. Clarity increases. People feel safer around you. Opportunities start to find you. Because you’re no longer scattering your energy across a hundred unconscious actions. You’re gathering it, forging it, becoming more than you were the day before." Damien suggests small rituals that can be done to bring awareness to the moment: - Morning Grounding: Start the day with intention - Mindful Sipping: Consume a drink with total attention - Embodied Micro-Walks: Similar to Awe Walks
Cancel Culture
We've dismissed the term cancel culture for a long time because we saw it mainly as a way for people who are confronted with making a mistake to evade accountability. What’s often forgotten is that the roots of this practice lie in Black liberation movements, where calling out harmful behavior publicly became a vital way to seek justice outside of systems that fail to protect marginalized communities. Over time, however, the term has been co-opted and repurposed—often by those in power—to deflect criticism. Rather than taking responsibility for the harm that was caused, people often focus on how the injustice is communicated. This shifts the attention away from the root of the issue. We believe it's crucial to listen to people experiencing violence and injustice, no matter how it is delivered. There should always be space for righteous anger. However, recently, we started reflecting on our own behavior, how punishment is ingrained in our culture and how this leads to judgment and finger pointing in cases where more effective conflict resolution could be possible. When we focus too much on outer spheres and neglect the necessary inner work, this can lead to externalization and cancel culture.
Article Series: Because We Need Each Other
"Because We Need Each Other: Conversations on Cancel Culture" is an article series by Erika Sasson, Celia Kutz, Kazu Haga, and Shilpa Jain that was published on The Forge and Convergence. You can access the full series here. Find the article here "This first article shares our origin story. We were all part of a gathering called “Because We Need Each Other,” in which 25 people from across the US came together to grapple with the impacts of a punitive pattern in social change/movement left spaces." The authors share the motivation for the gathering and the importance of improving the ways we collaborate in movement spaces. "Given the profound political moment we are in—with the unraveling of many democratic rights and freedoms—it feels more important than ever to strengthen the ways in which we come together on the left" "Our capacity to mobilize is strengthened by our ability to work through disagreement and come back from conflict." They also share important insights from the gathering: "The key takeaway from our gathering—beyond any discrete action steps—was the power of airing our questions in a trusted environment." "Because we need each other, we understand that we also need worldviews that reflect and commit to wholesome, spiritual practices in our movement spaces. We came together to remember, in the important words of one of our beloved Indigenous elders, that we are all cousins. And that we want to continue treating each other as relatives in our work and communities as we go forward in these times."
Article: Damien Echols on the Philosopher's Stone
On his Patreon, Damien Echols published an article called What is the Philosopher's Stone?. It is about how The Philosopher’s Stone, a legendary symbol in Western esotericism, is not a physical object. It is presence itself: a crystallized state of conscious awareness in the present moment. Damien writes about how in medieval alchemy, the Philosopher’s Stone was believed to transmute lead into gold, heal all disease, grant immortality, illuminate the soul, and unite all opposites. And then he reveals that the Stone isn't what most people believe: "The Stone isn’t found in a flask or forged in a furnace. The Stone is presence." "It’s what happens when your awareness crystallizes. When your consciousness becomes so rooted in the moment, so refined by practice and discipline, that it no longer breaks apart under pressure. When it stops being scattered across past and future, and settles completely—entirely—into now." Damien goes on to explain how all the believed powers of the Stone are a metaphor for presence. "But here's the truth: you don’t need a laboratory to perform transmutation. You only need attention. Focused, disciplined, unwavering presence." "Sit with your anger without flinching, and it becomes insight. Sit with your grief long enough, and it ripens into compassion.