Updates
A chronological view of all updates and changes to tender.garden.
July 31, 2025
11 updates
Fetishization
When people wake up to their own prejudices and discriminating socialization, a first reaction can often be to overcorrect. Fetishization, although meant in a good way, is still a form of othering. The path towards equality and liberation means recognizing this part of the process.
Manifestation
Manifestation is the moment an idea transitions from the spiritual realm into the material world. Often, when people talk about manifestation, they mean visualization, which is an important part of the process.
Organizing
Building collective power and community care structures.
Shadow
The concept of the shadow was introduced by Carl Jung. It is based on the observation that there is a large part of the human psyche that is being kept hidden, remaining in the subconscious. The shadow usually consists of parts of ourselves that we don't like, that we repress and deny. This denial, however, can lead to us repeating subconscious patterns. The more we repress it, the more it wants to make itself heard. Shadow Work is the process of integrating the shadow aspects of the self.
Stages of Grief
The 5 stages of grief is a framework developed by Elisabeth KĂĽbler-Ross with a goal to understand how humans deal with emotional loss. The stages are: - Denial - Anger - Bargaining - Depression - Acceptance These don't have to happen in linear order or in the same order by everyone. While this framework is typically referenced in cases of death, we believe it can also be mapped to the process of awakening to social injustice.
Visualization
Visualization is a light work practice that helps envision something that has not manifested in the material realm yet.
Learning about Cancel Culture
We've dismissed the term cancel culture for a long time because we saw it mainly as a way for people in power to evade accountability when confronted with mistakes. What’s often forgotten is that the roots of this practice lie in Black liberation movements, where calling out harmful behavior publicly became a vital way to seek justice outside of systems that fail to protect marginalized communities. Over time, however, the term has been co-opted and repurposed—often by those in power—to deflect criticism. Rather than taking responsibility for the harm that was caused, people often focus on how the injustice is communicated. This shifts the attention away from the root of the issue. We believe it's crucial to listen to people experiencing violence and injustice, no matter how it is delivered. There should always be space for righteous anger. However, the more we reflected on our own behavior during conflict, we realized there is more going on. We noticed how punishment and fear of punishment–so deeply ingrained in our culture–affects how we show up in our relationships and results in hurt and disconnection in cases where more effective conflict resolution could be possible. We experienced this not only in personal conflicts, but also when trying to help organize for Palestine and collective liberation over the last year. There is a growing number of people in movement spaces highlighting the importance of finding more effective and connective ways of working together. As big believers in the transformative magic of conflict resolution, we feel drawn towards better understanding the underlying dynamics of cancel culture and how they show up in ourselves, our personal relationships, and our movements. We are exploring this as two white Germans. This means we're currently focusing on: - How German socialization affects our conflict behavior - The process of white Germans waking up to being complicit in structural violence - Doing the necessary shadow work to be able to show up in movement spaces in increasingly healthy ways
Free Palestine
How can we help end the violence Palestinians are facing, putting pressure on our governments to stop enabling the oppression and genocide? Our focus the last 2 years has been mainly on the external: Trying to raise awareness and amplify voices with the goal to have more people stand up and get loud agains the horrors of Israel's actions against the Palestinian people. Because we were socialized in Germany, this means specifically doing the shadow work in recognizing our own Anti-Palestinian and Anti-Arab racism and talking about this with other Germans, especially highlighting the media bias and state repression against Palestine solidarity here in Germany. There is a shift in public perception happening that shows that staying loud works! However, we're still focused a lot on making other people join us instead of trying to work together and organize more effectively. With collective power, we can build more sustainable infrastructure and put pressure on people in power. This is why we want to direct our energy more towards internal work and help empower the resistance, for example with conflict resolution.
Cancel Culture
We've dismissed the term cancel culture for a long time because we saw it mainly as a way for people who are confronted with making a mistake to evade accountability. What’s often forgotten is that the roots of this practice lie in Black liberation movements, where calling out harmful behavior publicly became a vital way to seek justice outside of systems that fail to protect marginalized communities. Over time, however, the term has been co-opted and repurposed—often by those in power—to deflect criticism. Rather than taking responsibility for the harm that was caused, people often focus on how the injustice is communicated. This shifts the attention away from the root of the issue. We believe it's crucial to listen to people experiencing violence and injustice, no matter how it is delivered. There should always be space for righteous anger. However, recently, we started reflecting on our own behavior, how punishment is ingrained in our culture and how this leads to judgment and finger pointing in cases where more effective conflict resolution could be possible. When we focus too much on outer spheres and neglect the necessary inner work, this can lead to externalization and cancel culture.
Article Series: Because We Need Each Other
"Because We Need Each Other: Conversations on Cancel Culture" is an article series by Erika Sasson, Celia Kutz, Kazu Haga, and Shilpa Jain that was published on The Forge and Convergence. You can access the full series here. Find the article here "This first article shares our origin story. We were all part of a gathering called “Because We Need Each Other,” in which 25 people from across the US came together to grapple with the impacts of a punitive pattern in social change/movement left spaces." The authors share the motivation for the gathering and the importance of improving the ways we collaborate in movement spaces. "Given the profound political moment we are in—with the unraveling of many democratic rights and freedoms—it feels more important than ever to strengthen the ways in which we come together on the left" "Our capacity to mobilize is strengthened by our ability to work through disagreement and come back from conflict." They also share important insights from the gathering: "The key takeaway from our gathering—beyond any discrete action steps—was the power of airing our questions in a trusted environment." "Because we need each other, we understand that we also need worldviews that reflect and commit to wholesome, spiritual practices in our movement spaces. We came together to remember, in the important words of one of our beloved Indigenous elders, that we are all cousins. And that we want to continue treating each other as relatives in our work and communities as we go forward in these times."
Shadow Work
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate." – Carl Jung Shadow work describes the process of examining and integrating the hidden shadow parts of ourselves. It is about making unconscious patterns conscious, and integrating them so that we don't get controlled by aspects of ourselves that we deny. While shadow work is often used for individuals, there are also a lot of hidden and subconscious aspects in society as a whole. Carl Jung used the term collective unconscious. As above so below means that the collective shadow influences the shadow of human individuals, and vice versa. By working on recognizing our own subconscious patterns, we also help breaking patterns at the collective level.
July 30, 2025
3 updates
Gaza Genocide
While the word genocide was largely being suppressed by Western media until 2025, a growing number of genocide scholars and human rights experts are getting increasingly clear: - The International Association of Genocide Scholars declared that "Israel’s policies and actions in Gaza meet the legal definition of genocide in Article II of the United Nations Convention for the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide." - United Nations Special Rapporteur on the situation of human rights in the Palestinian territories occupied since 1967, Francesca Albanese calls Israel a settler-colonial project and highlights corporations who "have profited from Israel’s economy of illegal occupation, apartheid and now, genocide." - Amnesty International concludes "Israel is committing genocide against Palestinians in Gaza." - Human Rights Watch published a report in December 2024 titled "Extermination and Acts of Genocide." - Omer Bartov, professor of Holocaust and genocide studies at Brown University, wrote a piece in NYT called I’m a Genocide Scholar. I Know It When I See It.: "My inescapable conclusion has become that Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinian people. Having grown up in a Zionist home, lived the first half of my life in Israel, served in the I.D.F. as a soldier and officer and spent most of my career researching and writing on war crimes and the Holocaust, this was a painful conclusion to reach, and one that I resisted as long as I could. But I have been teaching classes on genocide for a quarter of a century. I can recognize one when I see one." Israeli military officials told the New York Times that there is no proof that Hamas has been systematically stealing aid that was supposed to go to the people in Gaza. "It's not our fault. Hamas is stealing the food" is a lie that has been used heavily over the last 2 years to justify Israel's deliberate starvation of Palestinians.
Responsibility Mapping
Responsibility Mapping is a concept of finding the right balance of how much responsibility we are taking in a relationship or conflict. We learned about this in an article from Remodeled Love, which also highlights an important aspect of the concept: "When you take too little responsibility, you rob yourself of growth. When you take too much, you rob someone else of growth." Relationships come with both individual and shared responsibility: <Image src="/img/responsibility-mapping-venn-diagram.jpg" width="1280" height="922" size="large"
Drama Triangle
The Drama Triangle is a psychological and social model that describes a common pattern of interaction in conflict and power dynamics. It consists of three roles that people unconsciously slip into: - Victim: Feels powerless, oppressed, or helpless. Often seeks rescue or validation but resists responsibility or solutions. - Rescuer: Rushes in to help, often unasked. Seeks to “save” others, which can create dependence and deny others their agency. - Perpetrator: Exerts control through criticism, blame, or aggression. Often justifies behavior through perceived injustice or frustration. People often shift between roles within a single interaction or over time, reinforcing a cycle of dysfunction. We're not really fans of the terms victim and perpetrator and are currently looking for alternatives. There are solutions using person harmed and harm doer (or person who caused harm). We're currently not sure if this properly reflects the dynamics referenced in the Drama Triangle framework the way we understand it. We like the concept of responsibility mapping because it doesn't put people into categories like victim or rescuer, while still offering a framework to reflect on the amount of responsibility we're taking in a relationship or conflict. Here's an attempt to merge both concepts: <Image
July 29, 2025
1 update
July 28, 2025
5 updates
Grounding
Grounding means connecting more with the present moment, yourself and the Earth. Especially after drawing in a lot of external energy and emotions, it is important to find an outlet. Otherwise, it could lead to involuntary discharge or an inflated ego.
Article: Damien Echols on Embodied Presence
On his Patreon, Damien Echols published an article called The Sacred Ordinary: Daily Rituals for Embodied Presence. "Most people think of spiritual practice as something separate from ordinary life. Something you do on a cushion, on a mat, in a temple. But the truth is, the most powerful rituals aren’t always found in elaborate ceremonies—they’re found in the seemingly mundane." "In the traditions of internal alchemy and ceremonial magick, we’re trained to build energy, to direct focus, to purify the self. But all that training means nothing if it doesn’t show up in the places that actually make up your life—your mornings, your meals, your movements." "Embodied presence isn’t just an idea. It’s a physical experience. You feel it in your bones. In your breath. In your fingertips. It’s when your awareness sinks from the forehead to the heart, and then even lower—to the gut, the feet, the earth." "It’s the kind of attention that changes the quality of time, because it brings you into alignment with what’s real: this moment." "When you commit to presence, the world responds. Anxiety fades. Clarity increases. People feel safer around you. Opportunities start to find you. Because you’re no longer scattering your energy across a hundred unconscious actions. You’re gathering it, forging it, becoming more than you were the day before." Damien suggests small rituals that can be done to bring awareness to the moment: - Morning Grounding: Start the day with intention - Mindful Sipping: Consume a drink with total attention - Embodied Micro-Walks: Similar to Awe Walks
Gaza Genocide
While the word genocide was largely being suppressed by Western media until 2025, a growing number of genocide scholars and human rights experts are getting increasingly clear: - The International Association of Genocide Scholars declared that "Israel’s policies and actions in Gaza meet the legal definition of genocide in Article II of the United Nations Convention for the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide." - United Nations Special Rapporteur on the situation of human rights in the Palestinian territories occupied since 1967, Francesca Albanese calls Israel a settler-colonial project and highlights corporations who "have profited from Israel’s economy of illegal occupation, apartheid and now, genocide." - Amnesty International concludes "Israel is committing genocide against Palestinians in Gaza." - Human Rights Watch published a report in December 2024 titled "Extermination and Acts of Genocide." - Omer Bartov, professor of Holocaust and genocide studies at Brown University, wrote a piece in NYT called I’m a Genocide Scholar. I Know It When I See It.: "My inescapable conclusion has become that Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinian people. Having grown up in a Zionist home, lived the first half of my life in Israel, served in the I.D.F. as a soldier and officer and spent most of my career researching and writing on war crimes and the Holocaust, this was a painful conclusion to reach, and one that I resisted as long as I could. But I have been teaching classes on genocide for a quarter of a century. I can recognize one when I see one." Israeli military officials told the New York Times that there is no proof that Hamas has been systematically stealing aid that was supposed to go to the people in Gaza. "It's not our fault. Hamas is stealing the food" is a lie that has been used heavily over the last 2 years to justify Israel's deliberate starvation of Palestinians.
Article: Damien Echols on Spiritual Ego
On his Patreon, Damien Echols published an article called The Shadow Fed by Light: How Magick Can Inflate the Ego. This phenomenon is often called spiritual ego. "power—real power—doesn’t just amplify the sacred. It amplifies everything" "Magick doesn’t discriminate. It’s not a moral force. It’s a tool. And when you pull in chi, or spiritus, or call down a planetary current, it doesn’t just fill the parts of you that you want to grow. It fills all of you. Every chamber. Every crack." "The energy doesn’t lie. It just flows. And if you’re not aware of the structures it’s pouring into, you may be reinforcing the very illusions you’re trying to transcend." "You’ll notice this in subtle ways at first. A little more self-importance. A sharper edge to your online posts. The creeping belief that you’re further along than others." "No one makes it far in magick without eventually encountering this shadow. And the ones who do make it far? They’re the ones who learn to bow. Not to external gods, but to the Work itself. They understand that the more power you channel, the more responsibility you carry—not just in the world, but within yourself." "That’s why grounding practices—zazen, martial arts, daily service, kaizen—aren’t optional." "And more than anything, that’s why watching yourself is part of the path. Notice your tone. Your impulse to correct. The part of you that feels insulted when someone doesn’t recognize your insight. These aren’t flaws to be ashamed of—they’re signals. They show you where the energy is leaking into ego instead of soul." "The more energy you gather, the more discipline you need to hold it. And not just discipline of action, but discipline of identity. Because if you let the ego grab hold of the power, it’ll hijack the whole operation. You’ll still be practicing. You’ll still be invoking. But you’ll be doing it for the wrong self."
Lightning Rod
How can we move sensitively and open heartedly through a world where violence is often normalized? The many tensions present in the human organism are often absorbed by sensitive people. This can show up as many small stings that add up and eventually lead to too much pain and overstimulation, for example through: - Unaddressed conflicts - (Passive) aggression - Acceptance of violent structures