## About _Existential Kink_ is a [shadow integration](/knowledge/shadow-work) technique that was popularized by [Carolyn Lovewell](https://carolynlovewell.com/). In her book _Existential Kink: Unmask Your Shadow and Embrace Your Power a Method for Getting What You Want by Getting Off on What You Don't_, she offers a variety of stories and exercises that show how readers can not only learn about and accept, but even embrace their hidden desires. "_This book presents a life-altering shadow integration meditative practice that invites us to make conscious the unconscious pleasure that we take in the stuck, painful [patterns](/knowledge/patterns) of our lives. Through consciously enjoying and giving approval to these previously unconscious 'gulity pleasures,' we interrupt and end the stuck patterns so that we can get what we really want in our lives._" ## Content "_As long as we have unconscious (repressed, denied, disowned) enjoyment in some 'bad' thing in our lives, we will keep seeking out that very same 'bad' thing._" In the book, Carolyn often references this quote attributed by Carl Jung: "_Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate._" – Carl Jung As long as we don't accept our hidden [patterns](/knowledge/patterns), we are going to repeat them over and over again. History repeats itself. In _Existential Kink_, Carolyn gives many exercises that help with the process of making the unconscious conscious. ### 7 Axioms of Existential Kink #### 1. Having is evidence of wanting #### 2. We have a choice as to whether we experience sensation as pleasure or pain #### 3. It's possible to gett off on every 'stroke', and every happening in life is a 'stroke' #### 4. The degree of being 'turned off' or 'turned on' is a factor of approval #### 5. Desire evolves through fulfillment, not denial and repression #### 6. Shame is the Magic Killer #### 7. The truth is sensational ## Exercises - [Deepest Fear Inventory](/knowledge/deepest-fear-inventory)